This information is included in our Guide to Sleep Issues.
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The situation you are describing is inappropriate for many reasons. First, an 11- year-old child should be sleeping in his or her own bed all night long regardless of whether or not the mother is home. If your niece is doing this because she feels scared when her mother is out of town, then measures need to be taken to address this fear so she feels safe in her own bed.
Whatever changes are made, they need to be carried out consistently when her mom is home and when she is away. There are NO acceptable excuses for her to crawl into bed with her father no matter what size the bed is. Your sister should talk to her daughter’s pediatrician for verification on this.
