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Encouraging Healthy Video Game Habits for Your Kids

May 14, 2024     By Boys Town Contributor

Child Development, Digital, Family, Internet Safety, Internet Usage, Parenting, Teen

Video games have taken over as perhaps the most popular form of entertainment for children and adults, surpassing movies and all North American sports in popularity.

For example, 91 percent of children ages 8-18 play video games monthly, Added to that, 62 percent of women and girls play video games, compared to 70 percent of men and boys.

Part of the reason for this popularity is that video games can become addictive. The games feed the dopamine reward system in the brain, whether it's a child or an adult.

The Role of Dopamine

Dopamine is a naturally occurring chemical in your brain that gives you feeling of pleasure, satisfaction and motivation—your own personal reward system. It also plays a role in everyday functions such as memory, movement, attention and others.

Studies show that the stronger the dopamine connection, the better performance in video games. As your child gets better, they'll want more of the dopamine hits they get from succeeding. This isn't always a bad thing. There is positive reinforcement and relief associated with success at gaming:

  • Games have immediate feedback.
  • A gamer experiences the flow state—a balance of challenges and successes.
  • They are challenged by new, exciting, surprising and engaging content.
  • Games provide an escape from real-world challenges and stressors.
  • Games can also relieve procrastination, anxiety, depression and social problems.
  • They help lessen FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) that kids experience by connecting with online friends and exciting content.

The Role of Parents in Guiding Children Playing Video Games

Of course, playing video games also has negative aspects, such as:

  • Unnatural escape from daily life.
  • Poor peer attachment and interaction.
  • Decrease in social skills.
  • Poor emotion regulation such as mood swings, depression, withdrawing.

If you see your child experiencing the negative aspects of video games, don't panic. Instead, practice non-judgmental information gathering. Watch and observe, asking questions gently:

  • What are you playing?
  • How does the game work?
  • Who are you playing with?
  • What do you like about this game?
  • Can you show me how to play?

Once you've learned more about the game your child is playing and their interaction with it, research it at Common Sense Media. This is a great resource for parents to learn about the vast number of games that are available to children.

You can determine what type of content is appropriate for your child based on their age.

Setting Priorities for Your Family and Your Child

Once you've researched the video game, talk about priorities that are important to your family and your child's development. Discuss family time, schoolwork, chores, social connections beyond video games, and interacting with the real world. Use the TIME method:

  • Talk
  • Instruct
  • Monitor
  • Encourage

You might want to consider creating a contract with your child regarding video game usage, or perhaps a schedule allowing for game time in addition to other things important to your family. In some cases, you may need to gatekeep devices and establish screen-free zones and times.

Each child will be different, of course, so having an over-arching plan that fits with your family's needs and goals will help keep everyone on the same page, while allowing your kids to have fun playing video games they enjoy.​


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