​​​You'd never hand your car keys to your child and expect them to know how to drive. “Think about cellphones and social media apps in the same manner," said Suzie Fogarty, M.Ed., strategic development manager with the Smart Gen Society (SGS). The SGS offers online resources and research-based education programs to help families safely navigate the online world. Read on for Fogarty's social media tips for parents.

Choosing Safe Apps

So your child wants to download the latest social media app. What should you look for? The SGS weighs privacy, safety and content factors to develop their age ratings for trending apps at SmartGenSociety.org/app-ratings. Red flags to look for:

• Can the app be set to private?
• Can location tracking be turned off?
• Can you opt out of data sharing and personalized ads?

Children under age 13 must obtain parental consent for apps that collect personal information, thanks to the Children's Online Privacy Protection Rule, but there's no age verification in these apps. “All the child has to do is lie," Fogarty said. “But this is a great opportunity to teach your child about morals and ethics."

Setting Boundaries and Staying Involved

Fogarty tells families to take baby steps into the social media world. Tips for healthy involvement and boundary setting:  

• Educate yourself and use the social media apps your child uses.
• Be a coach, not a referee. Promote positive online habits.
• Model healthy behavior. “With kids, it's 1% what you say and 99% what you do," Fogarty said.

Recognizing Red Flags

Inappropriate content, risky behavior and cyberbullying are real dangers. Signs parents should watch for:

• Decreased interest in the activities or sports they were previously involved in.
• Isolating themselves, which can be normal for teenagers. “Not going out and doing things face-to-face is a huge red flag," Fogarty said.
• Overly emotional response to limits on technology use.

Encouraging Open Communication

You want your child to come to you with concerns. Strategies to keep the door open:

• To spark conversations, SmartGenSociety.org/smart-apps offers questions to ask, such as “How many Snapchat streaks do you have?"
• Talk about online realities, such as adults posing as children.
• Don't threaten to take their cellphone away. “They'll never come to you for help," Fogarty said.

Privacy and Safety Measures

Each app presents unique risks. Steps to protect your child's personal information and limit exposure to harmful content:

• Read the fine print in app user agreements and opt out of data collection. “We also have to teach kids that these companies want your data to sell you stuff," she said.
• Use the app's privacy settings. “You control things like who can see your child's content and who can contact them," Fogarty said.

Monitoring vs. Trusting

How much is too much, or not enough? Find a balance between keeping an eye on social media use and respecting your child's growing independence.

• Use parental controls on apps and devices, including your modem, as safeguards.  
• Resist tracking every move. Allow some autonomy as children show maturity and responsibility.
• Stay involved. What most kids want from their parents is attention. “This highlights the importance of quality family time," Fogarty said.  

With plenty of parental awareness and a willingness to take extra steps, positive experiences are possible in the social media world.

An example of an app that can be a positive resource for children is Boys Town's Your Life Your Voice. It helps children track their thoughts, feelings and moods.

For more tips and tools to help on your parenting journey, go to parenting.org.​