Tantrums are often a result of a young child's inability to express his feelings of frustration or anger. It is closely connected to his verbal communication development.
When age and development are not the issue, and the tantrums become aggressive, result in injury or discomfort to another person, and include hitting, name-calling, yelling, and damaging property, it is sometimes advisable to seek professional help. Pediatricians, therapists, counselors, and psychologists are appropriate individuals to contact.
The situation you described with your husband losing his cool and deciding that your son would not receive any gifts at Christmas was a decision made out of anger; unfortunately, your son was in control of his father's emotions at that point in time.
If your son verbalizes that he is sorry for his behaviors and demonstrates that by being helpful, sensitive, and respectful, you may want to consider providing him with a gift to reinforce the change in his behaviors. That gift should be a piece of clothing or something he could use to calm himself when he gets upset, such as a journal that he could use to express his anger with words on paper.
While your son needs teaching in many areas, learning to control his anger is the most critical issue. At a neutral time when he is calm, talk with him about his out-of-control behaviors and positive behaviors he should use in their place. Have him spend time practicing calming techniques at neutral times when he is not upset. Give him scenarios that in the past have set him off, but ask that he show you what he can do instead of the out-of-control behaviors he has used in the past.
Be patient. Be consistent. And do what is best for your son and your family.
