Parents Disagree on Consequences of Shoplifting

My 14 yo daughter and her friends were caught shoplifting. My daughter had a panic attack and had to be rushed to the hospital. We have caught her with alcohol in the past, and I feel like I am at the end of my rope. Her dad and I got back together 3 years ago. Before that she lived with her stepfather and myself. Both kids are in constant contact with their dad and we chose to put the kids first and work as a 3 parent family. I am very disappointed in her behavior and want her to apologize and pay her debt for what she did, but her father and step-father don't agree. What should I do?

Thanks so much for reaching out to us tonight. It is definitely understandable why you are disappointed with your daughter. You are very right in wanting her to apologize and to pay for her debt. It is very important that she understands there are and will be consequences for her negative behaviors. Unfortunately, you are not getting the support you need . Having support from her father and step-father , and being consistent with consequences is very important.

Have the three of you tried sitting down and writing out lists of what you each think is appropriate consequences? This way the three of you can compare and hopefully come to some agreements. It might even be appropriate to have your daughter make a list of what she finds to be appropriate consequences. With her list you might be surprised with what she comes up with and with what she wants to do. This may help the three of you come to an agreement.

Just so you are aware, we have counselors here at the hotline 24 hours a day 7 days a week. If you are ever looking for some support please do not hesitate to give us a call, we would be more than willing to assist you.

Best of luck,
Mandi - Crisis Counselor

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