Parenting Toddlers

My 14 month old is normally a sweet child. However, he is starting to test us. We went out yesterday and he got upset and threw a crying fit in the middle of the store. We left immediately but he kept crying. How should we handle this in the future? Is he to young for time out at home? Thank you.

Thanks for contacting us. Parenting a toddler that is having a tantrum is a true test of patience. It sounds like you did the right thing by removing your son from the store. There are some things to consider in this situation like what lead up to the tantrum, is he hungry or tired? Because he doesn't have the words to articulate what's going on inside of himself you will have to try and guess what he is trying to communicate even though he doesn't have the words to express himself for right now.

You can use time out. The general rule is that is one minute for every year of the child. So you would use one minute time outs with him. The point of time out is to teach, not punish. If the child has not settled down let them know that you will start the clock when they are calm. When he has regained control, talk about the event that led up to the time out. Also praise him for calming down. This starts the discussion on a positive note and helps him focus on his accomplishment, and helps to not overly focus on the misdeed.

Because he is so young you will want to do most of the talking until he becomes familiar with the time out process. You can ask, "Do you know why I sent you to time out?" At his age the time should take place where you can see him. "Because you _______ when I told you not to. "You can not _______ anymore." There is no guarantee that he will understand the questions, but children do learn the value of time-outs in a short time.

Once they understand the concept of time outs, you can put your child in a timeout anywhere (even in a shopping cart or car seat) by letting them know that they are in time out, and that they need to be silent.

Also you will want to pre-teach him before you go to the store about what behavior you expect of him and what the consequence is if he misbehaves. While at the store, let him hold your keys, a toy from your purse, or having a juice cup with you. You can have them hold a piece of paper, card or small book to make it seem like they are on an 'errand' too.

Store visits have challenged the best of parents. Reaching out for help demonstrates your devotion to being a good parent! Call or write if you want to talk in more detail.

Sincerely,
Diana

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