Need Help Mediating Parenting Styles

I have some parenting difficulties and need some urgent advice. Myself and my husband have a 4 year old son. We have very different ideas on parenting. I find my husband is very strict on my son and borders on bullying behavior. I feel I naturally protect my child from this and my husband says I do not support him. I understand that we should show consistency to our son but I cannot support my husband when I believe his methods are going to have a detrimental affect on my child. On the other hand my husband would say I don't support him/undermine him and am too soft. I think we both need some mediation to address this before it has a severe affect on our son but do not know who to go to. I am at the point where I would leave my husband because of this if we cannot find a resolution. Thank for any advice in advance.

You are doing the right thing by reaching out and looking at alternative ways for you and your husband to parent your son. You have come to the point of realizing that it is not healthy to continue on this way. There definitely is hope if you and your husband are both willing to come together and work on your parenting. It is important for you to be together in your values and beliefs around child rearing. You may have different parenting "styles", but what needs to be mutually understood are the core values of how children are to be disciplined and nurtured.

Will your husband agree to attend parenting classes with you? The classes will lay a good foundation on child development and appropriate consequences and rewards. Both of you will need to be willing to compromise and be open to learning new parenting strategies. This may help you and your husband become closer by learning new ways of communication. If your husband refuses to attend parenting classes with you, go ahead and take the class anyway. Marriage counseling may be another option for you and your husband.

If you can call or write back with your city and state, we can find parenting classes and counseling resources in your local area. Boys Town Press carries many books and videos to help parents raise children of all ages and situations. Please contact us as soon as you can. Our counselors are very understanding and caring...we talk to parents in situations like yours every day. We are here 24 hours, 7 days a week.

Again, I'm glad you reached out tonight, and I hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,
Cynthia, Hotline Crisis Counselor

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