Four Year Old Acting Out

I need to know what I am doing wrong. My 4 year old son threw his toys at me tonight and laughed about it. All I did was tell him that it was time for bed. It took me an hour to get him calmed down. He bit me and hit me and told me that he did not want me for his mommy any more. I have tried time-outs, taking away toys and privileges. We try not to spank except as a last resort. I feel like I am losing my mind. How can I fix this?

 

Parenting can be really hard work. Parenting a 4 year old who has developed some serious behavior problems is much harder. I am sorry to hear that you feel like you are losing your mind, but I have good news! There is hope and there is help for you and your son!! The Boys Town National Hotline counselors are here to help.

After reading your email, I have several questions.
Does this behavior only occur with you?
Is he acting out mainly at bedtime?
When he acts out, how do you respond?
Is there structure and routine surrounding bedtime and clean up?

It sounds like you have already tried a couple of the strategies that we would encourage such as implementing timeout and limiting privileges. While we wouldn't encourage or support any sort of physical punishments, there might be some additional behavioral management techniques that would help you to find success. Would you consider contacting the Boys Town National Hotline by telephone? Trained counselors are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to assist you by providing support and encouragement. If you were to call, a counselor would be able to brainstorm some parenting strategies or possibly provide you with a referral to an agency in your local area that could provide some additional suggestions.

We will wait to hear back from you.

Sincerely,

Linda, Crisis Counselor

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