Need Help Disciplining a Three Year Old

My daughter Christina is in kindergarten and is getting ready to finish the school year. She is exhibiting many poor behaviors in her class and at home. We do all we can to discipline her, and so far nothing seems to be working. In fact, things are getting worse. I am very concerned for her and our family because everything we take away and using spankings and time-out doesn't seem to be working. I am very scared for her and hope someone can help us. Thanks so much.

Thank you for contacting the Hotline for help with your daughter. Parenting can be a tough job and our goal is to help your job as a parent be easier. The fact that your daughter is in school should provide you with some outside help which is good. Most school districts have school psychologists that are available to evaluate your daughter in scholastic development and do a behavioral assessment. Request that this occur prior to the end of the school year. The psychologist will test her and do observations so they can see what triggers her misbehaviors in the classroom and what she is getting out of it that makes her continue the behavior. There will be a report and recommendations. We urge you to move on this so over the summer the recommendations can be followed.

It would be helpful to know what behaviors she is doing in school and at home. Does she not do what she is told, does she not get along with others, does she talk back or argue when she doesn't get her way? The behaviors I have just mentioned can be addressed by teaching the skills of "Following Instructions", "Accepting No", and "Sharing". Begin by teaching one skill at a time. Choose the one that will have the greatest impact on her behavior. We suggest teaching her to "Follow Instructions". There are games that you can play with her to teach this skill. One of those is "Simon Says". Begin by explaining the rules that when "Simon" gives an instruction that she must say "okay" and do it right away. As she gets good at this, carry the same thing on to typical instructions that you give her like, "it is time for bed, let's get your pajamas on", she should say okay and do it right away. Practice is the important thing, so do it a lot. Keep it fun and remember to reinforce her when she does it right.

You are already using negative consequences for the misbehaviors, be sure to use positive consequences for the "good stuff".

If you would like to talk with someone about this situation or other parenting issues, please call us at the Hotline at 1-800-448-3000. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Sincerely,
Pat, Crisis Counselor

< Return to List