Dating At Thirteen

Our son is 13 years of age. He wants to start dating and his mother and I are rather skeptical about this idea. Do you have any tips or advice to help us?

Thanks for contacting us! I understand your skepticism about your son wanting to date at 13. Many parents like yourself are dealing with this same issue for their young teens. You might want to ask yourself a few questions: Does your son have good friendships, now? Does he understand what a good healthy friendship is? What sort of role will you take as a parent, to this exclusive relationship? Have you set boundaries, rules and expectations of your son? Does your son understand what dating is? What kind of dates will he be allowed to have? Does your son understand your values and morals when thinking about relationships? How mature is your son and the person he chooses to date? These are just a few questions I encourage you to think about.

Remember that good healthy exclusive relationships are based on good healthy friendships, first. Encourage your son to talk to you about what makes a good relationship, and what are healthy boundaries. You may also want to refer to a good resource: Boundaries, a Guide for Teens. This book helps teens to really think about their relationships/friendships. It also helps with defining what physical, emotional and sexual boundaries are. You can find it on the following website: www.boystownpress.org.

I also encourage you to call the Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000. We have counselors available 24/7 and we talk with both kids and parents about whatever is on their mind.

Good luck and please let us know if there is anything else that we could help you with.

Sincerely,
Kara, Crisis Counselor

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