Girlfriend Is a Bad Influence on Teenage Boy

My 16 yr. old son has been diagnosed withADHD and has always had problems in school. At home he has always follwed the rules until about 3 months. He started seeing this 17 yr. old girl and now he does drugs, comes home at all hrs of the night, and tells me that he does not have to do what I tell him. He even says that I can't make him do anything. He ran 500 miles away from home with the girlfreind and the cops told him that once he turns 17, the cops won't bring him back if he runs away again. Im in desperate need of help. He has never behaved like this before. Please help me!

Thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you are going through a lot of frustration with your son's behaviors right now. It sounds like the relationship he has with his girlfriend is not a healthy one. If it were and they cared about each other, it would bring out the best in him, not the worst.

Have you met this girl? Does she come to your home to spend time at all? If she does not, invite her over for dinner. If you and your son go on outings on the weekend, invite her to attend with you. The more you are around her the better you will be able to see what is happening to your son because of her and their relationship.
Rather than you being on one side and they on the other, take down that wall. When we forbid our children to be with someone, as you know, it makes that person all the more attractive. When you recognize unhealthy parts of their relationship, ask your son about them in a non-accusatory way. Encourage him to make good choices and decisions that are best for him.

Don't change your expectations or your home rules. Continue to ask that he be home and that he avoid using drugs and that he help around home since he is still part of the family. Encourage him to stick it out and get his education so he can be independent and on his own successfully.

If the situation has gone beyond this and you are looking for residential programs for him, give us a call so we can help you locate some in the state you are living in.

Take care of yourself and stay strong. If you would like to talk, we have trained counselors available 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

Sincerely,
Pat, Crisis Counselor

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