Making Friends At School

Our 7 year old little girl has told me she doesn't have any friends at school. She says that everyone is nice to her and they all talk to her but she doesn't really have anyone to play with. How can I help her with this? She is extremely kind hearted and I can't stand to see her hurt.

It is very hard as a parent to see our kids when they are hurting.  And as good parents do, we want to try and "fix" what is going on for our kids.  In this case, there are several things that you can do to help your daughter.  You can encourage invite a friend over to play.  If your schedule allows, you can also go and visit your daughter in class to observe how she interacts with her classmates.  Talk with her teacher and ask her about your daughter's behavior in the classroom. 

According to your message, your daughter is kind hearted.  Build on that quality that your daughter has.  Praise her for these behaviors and continue reassure her that if she is kind to others, she will make friends.  You may also want to get your daughter involved in dance, sports, church activities, or a club.  She may find that if she involves herself in activities that she enjoys, she will meet others that enjoy the same things and start a good friendship. 

Remember that meeting good friends takes time and with your encouragement she will meet someone.  Encourage her to keep talking to you about her feelings. It will also be important for you to not overreact or to blame other kids, but remain calm and provide encouragement.

If you find that her behavior changes for the worse, you could make an appointment with your Pediatrician or talk to the school counselor for more help.  You can also call The Boys Town National Hotline at 1-800-448-3000.  Take care, and let us know if you try any of the suggestions or if we can help you further.
 
Sincerely,
Kara, Crisis Counselor

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