Teaching Kids Not to Push

My son has recently started pushing other kids at preschool. He has a severe speech delay. I have had him tested for a variety of medical concerns. His doctors say he is just very active and has a speech delay. He doesn't understand that he is hurting someone by pushing them. How do teach him not to push other kids at school?

Thank you for contacting the Hotline about your parenting issue. So many times parents of young children only observe what they can see and hear, which are their children's behaviors. You however, looked beyond that and discovered the speech delay. Good for you and for your child!

Now, to address the problem with your son's pushing. First lets try to figure out what he is trying to do when he pushes. Is he trying to get their attention and because of his speech difficulties, doesn't have the words to use? Is he upset with them because they take his turn or take the toys that he is playing with? Does he push them when they are not letting him play with them?

The reason I ask these questions is because if any of these are true, then teaching your son a more acceptable way of Getting Others Attention, Disagreeing Appropriately, Joining Others Play, or Peer Reporting would be the direction to go. Of course when teaching "social skills" to 4 year olds, we can't just 1.) tell them what to do, but we have to show them also (make sure what you ask him to do is developmentally appropriate) 2.) give them a "kid" reason why they should do it that way and 3.) have them practice. Make sure the practice is fun and brief. We know that practice will make it much more likely that he will actually do it that way.

Hopefully this will help with the situation and equip your son with the skills that he will continue to use throughout life. If you would find it more helpful to speak to a counselor, please call us at 1-800-448-3000. We are available 24 hours a day, every day.

Sincerely,
Pat, Crisis Counselor

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