Son Suspended and Arrested for Tagging

I HAVE 2 OLDER CHILDRN, 21YR OLD DTR AND 19 YR OLD SON AND MY TEENAGE SON WHO JUST TURNED 15 IN MAY. I AM AWARE THAT MY TEENAGER IS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON THAN MY 2 OLDER KIDS BUT MY HUSBAND AND I DONT KNOW WHERE TO GET STARTED TO CHANGE OUR PARENTING WITH OUR TEENAGER. TODAY HE WAS SUSPENDED FROM HIGH SCHOOL FOR TAGGING ON SCHOOL PROPERTY AND THE SCHOOL ADMINISTRATION HAD HIM ARRESTED.HE IS NOW HOME BUT WE WANT TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES FROM HERE ON. I DONT KNOW IF HE WILL BE ADMITTED BACK TO HIS SCHOOL, HE HAS TO GO TO COURT, THERE MAY BE FINES,HIS GRADES WERE ! FROZEN AND HE HAS 3 F'S BUT DUE TO THE SUSPENSION HE MAYNOT BE ABLE TO GO TO SUMMER SCHOOL. I THOUGHT ABOUT PUTTING HIM IN A PRIVATE SCHOOL THOUGH BOTH MY HUSBAND AND I WORK WE COULD NEVER AFFORD THAT. MY OLDER SON AND DAUGHTER ALSO HELP OUT FINANCIALLY. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR HELP.

Thank you for contacting the Boys Town National Hotline. Parenting can be such a frustrating job, but so important at the same time. It is difficult to watch our children make poor choices in their lives when we have done everything to make sure they make good ones. You are not alone, services are available to you and people want to help.

The fact that your son has made a decision that is going to change his life from here on out, it is important to begin the process in helping him. Now that he has to go to court he will more than likely have a probation officer that can be of great help to you as parents. Even though you worry about him not being able to get back into his school, stay hopeful. You will cross that road when it gets here on a decision of what school he should attend. If this is his first offense, hopefully they will let him come back. It is important to work with the school and let them know that you are willing to work through this as a team. Get in touch with the school counselor and discuss your son's options. Maybe it would be possible for your son to clean up the tagging he did at school, this would give your son a logical consequence for his behavior.

At home it is important for you and your husband to be as consistent as possible with your son. Communicating with your son, letting him know the behavior you expect from him, consequences that relate to the behavior and remembering all of his positive qualities are pieces of a healthy relationship. Even though he has been getting into trouble it is still important to remember the positives. Lupe, there are so many things that can be done in a situation like this. We talk to parents everyday about the problems they are having with their teenagers. There are questions we would like to ask you to make sure we are helping you the best we can. Please feel free to give us a call at the hotline. We are available 24/7, anytime you need to talk!

Take Care,
Andria, Crisis Counselor

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