Trouble at School and Possible Substance Abuse

I am not sure where to start, my youngest child and only boy has been acting in ways that are very concerning to me. He is 15 and although smart has lost all interest in school. He refuses to even try. I will often practically force him to complete assignment and then I will find them crumpled on the floor in his room never getting handed in to his teachers. He talks about dropping out of school. He is only in the 8th grade (we kept him back in 2nd grade) and is in danger of failing the school year. I fear he has just given up and I am not sure why. He was suspended recently for going off campus and "huffing" with some other boys. This is very concerning to me of course, especially since his biological father has a drug and alcohol abuse issue. I try and monitor my son closely and do not believe that the huffing or any other drug abuse is a regular activity.

Thanks for contacting us regarding your son. I hear you saying that he has lost all interest in school. Was there a time when he was interested in school? If so, what kept his interest and what has changed for him to lose interest or give up on school? Have their been changes in his environment that could be causing this behavior?

Are there times where he relaxes and shares withyou what is going on in his life? Sometimes when teens get into a cycle of being in trouble, it affects the home atmosphere and relationships become very strained. You might want to try an experiement of sorts. For a week, really try to focus on positives with him in a genuine way. Praise him for the good things he does, make his favorite meal, spend some time together, etc. See if you notice any changes--it can't hurt!

Something else that you can try is to enter a "contract" with him that you put in writing. Use IF & THEN wording. IF he does something, THEN he earns something in return. For example: "IF I go to school every day this week and turn in all my assignments, THEN I earn the ability to earn a video game rental on the weekend. " Or you can phrase it that if he doesn't do something, spell out what the consequence is. Then you both sign it. Some kids take things more seriously if it is in writing--again, that is just another option to consider.

The substance abuse is concerning. I'm glad you are on top of monitoring him to get him help if this becomes a pattern of behavior. Huffing is a very dangerous activity and can cause damage or death even in a single episode. So I would encourage you to find out more information from a local substance abuse counseling resource. His 'huffing' experimentation seems to be a symptom of the problem with losing interest. He is looking for something to fill the void he likely experiences from withdrawing from school at his age. A key place to start is with the earlier question about what has changed in his life and begin problem solving from there. You also may want to consider talking to school officials and possibly counseling may become necessary.

Take heart, at 15 he may feel that he is all grown up--but really he needs your love and support now more than ever! We are always available at the hotline. Please call if you have further questions or would like to discuss your son's current situation with one of the counselors.

Sincerely,
Grant, Hotline Counselor

< Return to List