Six Year Old Having a Hard Time At School

Hi, my son (6yo) has been having a really hard time at school this year. He is not only having behavioral problems but academic problems as well liking reading. Just today we got notified from his principal that we had to come pick him up (like a suspension) because he stole money to eat more food for lunch. It's not like he didn't have his own lunch money or didn't eat. I really don't know what to do. We have tried so many things from punishing from tv and toys, to sitting him in the bathroom which he does not like at all. We have converstaions with him and he says that he will not do it again, but he still does. Do you have any suggestions or maybe we such try counseling again. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciate.

Thank you for contacting the Boys Town National Hotline. It can be very frustrating to work with your child when he behaves inappropriately at school because you, as the parent, did not observe or experience this behavior at the time. It is demonstrating respect towards the staff at your son's school when you acknowledge your son's inappropriate behaviors. Together, you, your family, and the staff at the school can work together to decrease the occurrences of his inappropriate behaviors. That is the meaning of: It takes a village to raise a child. It's great that you all have one another's support.

The types of discipline that you have already tried have been some good options. Primarily, taking away privileges, like TV and toys, may not work for some children because they are not motivated by them. Some children do not appreciate those things as privileges. If they don't motivate, just don't use them. Try to find something else that IS motivating to your son. This could be favorite snacks, etc. If it is easier to implement doing extra chores or writing an apology letter to the student who he stole from, these things could also motivate your son to not engage in the negative behaviors.

Has anything in his environment changed recently? Did he have any similar problems with school last year? Are you having the same problems at home with him as they are at school? Remember, a six year old thrives on structure at home, and attention from adults. Sometimes kids will misbehave in order to get attention, even if it is negative. Identifying what might be causing this behavior could be a big help.

It is interesting that you mentioned that your son is also having academic problems. This alone could be making your son dislike being at school and, in turn, engage in stealing while at school. What arrangements have the school staff made in helping him? Are there options of tutoring, after school homework assistance, testing and implementing reading strategies, etc. for your son? Please inquire with your son's teacher and school counselor.

Also, if your son has been involved in counseling before, it may be a good option to contact that counselor or agency again. As with most negative behaviors that children demonstrate, it is much easier to tackle problems when children are still very young, instead of waiting until your son is a teenager. Please continue to reach out to us if you need additional help. You can also call us any time at: 1-800-448-3000. Take care of yourself!

Sincerely,
Jacque

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