Setting Fires and Other Destructive Behavior

I need help with my son he's 9 years old and he has destructive behavior. He has fire setting issues in the home. He's always in trouble at school. He was diagnosed with adhd and a learning disability. He's out of control. My head is spinning I don't know what to do anymore. PLEASE HELP

Thank you for contacting us for help with your son. It sounds like he is testing your patience as well as your parenting skills. Parenting can be a tough job but is the most important job you will ever have.

When your son was diagnosed with ADHD were you educated about how children with this diagnosis think and consequently behave? Were you given resources to help you teach and guide your son in spite of his diagnosis? Studies have provided us with invaluable information to help us understand how the mind of a child with ADHD works and typical behaviors that result. There are parenting classes available for parents who have children with ADHD. Helpful and easy to implement strategies have been developed and are available in books such as The ADHD Workbook for Parents, by Harvey C. Parker, Ph.D. This book is helpful for understanding the diagnosis as well as strategies to manage behaviors, handling homework, classroom intervention, medication management and more. It can be ordered through www.boystownpress.org. It may also be available at a local book store such as Barnes and Noble or Boarders.

Is he currently in counseling? The fire starting as you know can be a danger not only to him but to your entire family. Hopefully you have taken measures to make sure he does not have access to matches and lighters. I am certain that you will have to check his room and possessions daily to ensure he has not accessed these somewhere else and brought them into your home. It may also be necessary to monitor him more closely, not allowing him out of your sight for more than 5 minutes at a time, keeping his bedroom door open at all times and asking his siblings to help monitor him by encouraging them to tell a parent if he is doing anything dangerous. They can help keep him and your whole family safe.

Please stay in touch and let us know how things are going and if there is anything we can do to help.
If you would like to speak to someone, please call us at 1-800-448-3000. Counselors are available 24/7 to take your call.

Hope to hear from you soon.
Pat, Crisis Counselor

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