How Do I Get My Daughter to Be On Time?

My daughter is always late for everything, or just getting there in the last second. It makes me very upset and I can stand for it any longer. I'm at my wits end, what can I do?

Thank you for contacting the hotline, it is great that you are reaching out for help with your daughter. Parenting can be such a frustrating and trying time in our lives, but has wonderful rewards as well. Sometimes it seems that no matter how much we give and teach them, they go at their own pace.

What types of things are your daughter late for? Does she make excuses or apologize? When she is late what are some of the things you discuss with her? When a teenager is constantly late it may mean that she is just not managing her time effectively. If she is late getting ready for school, it may be wise to have her get up at an earlier time. Sit down and explain to her the importance of time management, which I am sure you have done several times, and come up with some suggestions she can try to be more on time. Make sure that you are calm when you talk about these things and that you help her to realize that this will help her in all aspects of her life.

Try as best as you can to let her learn that she is only hurting herself if she is going to be late. If you are taking her places (school, activities, outings, etc) let her know she needs to be ready by this time and if she is not then she will need to find an alternative way to wherever she is going. Obviously there are things that she can manipulate into not going to if she is late, so be prepared to set up other expectations as well. Explain to her that she needs to be on time for important things (school, family gatherings, etc) or otherwise she will be unable to do the fun things she wants to do (hanging out with friends, activities, etc). Instead of giving her attention or getting upset when she is late follow through with the consequence that you set up earlier with her and leave it at that. If she is on time give her encouragement and praise. This can help improve the chances of her continuing to be on time or early because she likes receiving positive praise.

Hopefully these suggestions will be helpful in your situation, it will not be easy but with hard work and determination she will bound to begin to see the importance of being on time. There are many more ways we could help you with this situation and would love to talk to you about them. Our counselor's are available 24/7 and would love to problem solve with you. Please give us a call as soon as you can!

Take Care,
Andria, Crisis Counselor

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