Teen Dealing With Anger Issues, Failing School

I have had trouble with my 14 year old son. He doesn't want to go to school and he is failing 5 out of 8 of his classes. He did the same thing last semester. He doesn't care about school or obeying our rules. All he wants to do is be out of the house. We have had to call the police in the past because he turns his cell phone off and then we are frantically looking all over the neighborhood for him. We have cut off his phone but that's the only way we can stay in contact with him. When he is at school he just sits in class and does nothing. He has gone to counseling in the past for his anger problems but they never really got to the root of his issues. He has been this way for years now and I don't know what to do anymore. He sometimes says he is going to kill himself and his biological father did commit suicide so I get really scared. My son doesn't know this is how his father died. He never new his biological father. I need help with him now before it gets worse. He already wants to drop out of school.

Thank you for contacting our hotline and for reaching out to help your son. There are many issues going on which could be affecting your son. I will try to do my best to answer your questions.

Has your son ever been tested for learning disabilities or attention deficit disorder? Is he a fluent reader? The reason I ask is that there are some children who are very bright but have an undiagnosed learning disability such as dyslexia and they can't read well. During elementary school these children get by because they are smart, but middle school becomes difficult and it gets worse in high school. Behavior problems will occur and their grades suffer. Sometimes it looks as if they don't care. Someone once said: "if a person can read well, he/she can do just about anything they set their mind to". Just about every job in our society requires some level of reading ability.

You said your son never knew his father. Is there another "father figure" your son has in his daily life? Do you know if his father was diagnosed with depression or another mental illness? At the very least, your son sounds very depressed. Anger, apathy and suicide ideation are symptoms of depression. It is important to take your son's suicide threats seriously. Even if he is not really going to attempt suicide, he is crying out for help.

You said that your son attended counseling for anger issues in the past but it was not helpful. Sometimes it takes 2-3 tries to find the right fit with a therapist. I strongly encourage you to take your son to a professional family therapist. That way, your son can be evaluated and can meet with the therapist, and you can join in when the therapist feels it is right.

Please call us at 1-800-448-3000 as soon as possible so we can help you find a therapist in your local area. We have an extensive data base of mental health services for children and families. We are here 24 hours, 7 days a week to listen and to help. Thank you again for contacting us and I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Sincerely,
Cynthia, Hotline Crisis Counselor

< Return to List