Son Lies About Taking ADHD Medications

HELP. My son is on medication for ADHD. He hides his meds and lies about it. He makes such an issue of his pills and gags and vomits...it's been going on for years, he's now 12. He steals food and hides it in weird places (ice cream in the basement stairwell, strawberries in the dryer vent....) He hides his homework in all sorts of places, and when we ask him to clean up, he will take papers from one room and hide them in another rather than put them in the right place. I feel he's deliberately trying to destroy my sanity and I wind up screaming so he yells back. He goes out of his way to provoke his teachers and classmates; he makes everyone around him crazy. He knows he needs his medications, and I've literally BEGGED him to take it. He will, but the next day he lies again and hides them. He does so well when he takes his medications, I don't understand why he deliberately sabotages himself this way. The whole situation is causing his father and I to develop ulcers and take BP medication. As a result of his behavior we're a lot poorer and a whole lot sadder. His little sister (age 6) has very little attention because of our constant fights with him. I really am heartsick over this child.

Thank you for contacting the Hotline with concerns about your son. You are right, many of his behaviors make no sense and lead you to believe he does them just to antagonize others. He may not even know why he does some of them. Children with ADHD who are not treated have different thinking patterns and it is very difficult for others to understand or relate to them.

Have you spoken to his Doctor about the medication issue or perhaps to his counselor or therapist? If they are experienced in working with children with this diagnosis, perhaps they could offer some suggestions or recommendations. It sometimes takes someone outside your family to intervene and help effect change.

There are support groups for parents and families that have a child with ADHD. We parents sometimes find comfort in knowing that we are not the only ones experiencing the difficulties that are occurring in our homes. Others may even be able to share some strategies or techniques that have worked with their sons who refused to take their medication.

Your concern for the six year old is valid. Set aside "time" to spend with her away from her brother. Both you and her father should do this regardless of what is going on with your son. "Time" may be going for a walk or having a picnic. It doesn't need to be something that costs money. Children are put on this earth to get their parent's attention. You do not want her to recognize that she could get more attention by misbehaving that she does by behaving.

Keep your cool. Develop a staying-calm plan for when your son engages in these behaviors. Whether it is give yourself a time out before you address the behavior, say a prayer or go into the bathroom and splash your face. Whatever it is, use it instead of yelling.

If you would like to talk with a counselor about this or other parenting issues, please give us a call at 1-800-448-3000. We are available 24/7. Hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,
Pat, Crisis Counselor

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