Using Preventive Teaching to Teach Social Skills

Following Instructions Accepting Criticism Accepting “No” for an Answer Staying Calm Disagreeing with Others Asking for Help Asking Permission Getting Along with Others Apologizing Having a Conversation Giving Compliments Accepting Compliments Listening to Others Being Honest Showing Sensitivity to Others Introducing Yourself Q & A for Parents

Let’s look at an example of a mother using Preventive Teaching to teach her 10-year-old how to accept a “No” answer. In the past, when her son was told “No,” he would frequently argue, whine, or pout. These behaviors have caused problems not only at home, but in school as well.

The steps to the skill of “Accepting ‘No’ for an Answer” are:

1. Look at the person.
2. Say “Okay.”
3. Calmly ask for a reason if you really don’t understand.
4. If you disagree, bring it up later.

Here’s how Preventive Teaching might sound in this situation.

1. Describe the positive behavior.
   Mom: “Jimmy, I want to talk with you about how to accept no answers especially from your teacher. The first thing you need to do is look at her. Don’t look away or look down. Okay?”
   Jimmy: “Uh huh.”
   Mom: “After you look at her, then you need to say ‘Okay’ in a nice voice. If you really don’t understand why you were told ‘No,’ then calmly ask for a reason, but only if you don’t understand. If you disagree with the answer, politely bring it up later.”
2. Give a reason.
   Mom: “If you learn how to accept a ‘No’ answer without arguing, your teacher is more likely to listen to what you have to say. Do you understand?”
   Jimmy: “Yeah, Mom. Are we done?”
3. Practice.
   Mom: “Not quite, let’s pretend that I’m Mrs. Smith and you’re going to ask me to use the
   computer….”

Mom and Jimmy would then practice this situation or others he might face during school. As Jimmy practices, Mom can see where he does well and where he struggles. For example, maybe his voice tone sounds rather harsh or negative or he fidgets when he talks. Mom can practice with Jimmy until he feels more comfortable with each step of the skill. She also can provide real-life reasons why learning this social skill will make things go smoother for him.

Notice that Mom picked a time to use Preventive Teaching when Jimmy was cooperative and wasn’t busy doing something else. She used a calm, conversational tone and continued to ask Jimmy if he understood what she was teaching.

Using Corrective Teaching to Teach Social Skills